a division of Sucker Punch Productions

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The Punchmaster's Terms of Service

A. Content

  1. Mystery Punch! shall contain ideas, views, opinions, and other declarations (hereinafter referred to as "things") that the Punch Master has not yet found a way to air in other venues of society (hereinafter referred to as "elsewhere"), without getting arrested or generally annoying people.
  2. Things may include, but are not limited to:
    (a) pop culture
    (b) food
    (c) lists
    (d) things that happen while the Punchmaster is driving
    (e) anything else that may cross the Punchmaster's mind.
    But mostly pop culture.
  3. Elsewhere may include, but is not limited to, such locations as:
    (a) phone conversations
    (b) Evites
    (c) elevators
    (d) grocery store lines
    (e) everyday chitchat
    (f) the workplace.
  4. The Punchmaster will make every good faith effort to refrain from personal rants that could not simply be vented in the car.
  5. The Punchmaster makes no guarantee whatsoever that Things posted herein will be up to date or factually correct.
  6. The Punchmaster will, however, make every effort for Things to be entertaining, or at least mildly interesting. The Punchmaster considers that to be much more important.
  7. All Things posted herein are informed only by the Punchmaster's limited exposure to the world and are, therefore, thoroughly subjective. If you have some academic argument as to why Boggle is superior to Scrabble, then yippee for you. But those are not the Punchmaster's reasons. Don't get your knickers in a twist over it.
  8. Although there is an exclamation point after the title, Mystery Punch! shall in no way be construed as a musical.

B. Equal Opportunity

  1. The Punchmaster shall not discriminate on the basis of race, ethnicity, gender, faith, sexual orientation, criminal record, or disability.
  2. The Punchmaster may discriminate on the basis of your knowledge of Welcome Back, Kotter.

C. Rights and Reservations

  1. The Punchmaster reserves the right to revise these Terms of Service at any time, without notice.
  2. The Punch Master reserves the right to use the third person in official self-reference.
  3. All content is the sole property of the Punch Master, unless otherwise designated or sold on e-bay.
  4. Any unauthorized efforts to turn Mystery Punch!, in whole or in part, into a musical are hereby subject to legal prosecution; unless rights are first obtained, with written permission, from the Punch Master. But the Punch Master wants a cut. And a dance number.

2 comments:

DCepticon said...

I like you punch master.

Anonymous said...

I like you dcepticon.